December 6
I generally avoid doing more household work than absolutely necessary. But once every three years or so, I feel the urge to do indulge in things that girls usually do, such as cooking or needlework. That time has come again recently, but since I don't have the time to devote myself to such fads, I always end up "feeling like" without ever actually doing it… This time I'm feeling the intense desire to "get absorbed in knitting in a sun-drenched room." Whenever I talk to somebody these days, I don't talk about much more than this.
Then comes my artist friend Tsuka and invites me to a nice workshop she’s hosting. Tsuka-chan’s day job is making cute plushies called "Seijin-kun" (I really dig those!), but this time she does a workshop for food decoration. Participants can decorate pastry chef Aya’s homemade Seijin-shaped cookies and cupcakes as they like.
As soon as I spot the various materials waiting on the table, such as icing, chocolate chips, and nuts of all shapes and colors, I instantly heat up. The two following hours are over far too soon, and frankly speaking, I could continue for another three or four. It must have been decades since I last had some fun as juvenile as this! Not that I baked cookies, so I can't really say I did something that qualifies as household work, but the little girl in me is totally happy now!
The next workshop is going to be about chocolate decoration, right before Valentine’s Day! I'll be there!!!
December 22
For some reason, I spend my time thinking a lot these days. Every time I catch myself thinking, I ask myself what exactly I'm thinking about, but unable to answer even that, I just keep on thinking…
There’s that breed of people they call "thinkers", people who love to think. Well, I guess they'd have to call me a "dream-thinker" or something. No matter how seriously I intend to do some thinking, it never takes long until I get tired and drift off to the dream world. It’s a happy world of tasty food, snowboarding, and stuff like that.
Be that as it may, for quite some days now I keep thinking, and to be honest, I'm not really comfortable with that state of mine. I have no clue what I could possibly do to stop thinking, and even if I try to escape into my good old dream world, for some reason I can't find the entrance anymore!
What the hell is the matter with me? Is it because of the end of the year? Or could it be an age thing? For now I guess I'll try and take a deep breath.
December 27
For the first time in half a year I meet two friends I met when studying in San Diego. I went there spontaneously after quitting my job as an editor, and San Diego was definitely a good choice. The weather was constantly fine so that I never needed to check a forecast before planning things, and the time I spend there "cleared" my mind in a positive sense. I got into beach volleyball (which I normally never ever do), and walked on my hands on the fresh green grass. I studied as hard as I had never studied before, met a number of people in an environment where titles and ages don't count, and got to know a lot of different cultures. Mako and Takayo are two of them, and they are still my treasures. Each of us went her own way, thought her own thoughts, laughed her own laughs and cried her own tears after leaving San Diego, but now that we're together again, it’s just as much fun as in the olden days.
Without that experience I bet I'd be doing something different now. I wouldn't have met people that I hold dear, and I wouldn't have cultivated some of my most precious feelings. When thinking about it this way, the bright days in San Diego seem almost dazzlingly bright and sweet.
Without those days, there would be no today; no today’s fun, and no today’s trouble either. I wonder if I'll be talking about today in the same way a few years from now…
January 4
The new year started before I knew it, and on the last day of my New Year’s holidays, I invite a bunch of friends for a little home party. The "bunch" is quite large, and I'm amazed to see how many people fit into my tiny room. Even though most of them are grown-ups, it’s the kids who take center stage. There are about four, including one little baby. It’s interesting to see how such young boys and girls all have their own distinguished personalities, and as they don't have to hide them (like we adults do), one can see them perfectly clearly. One can hear them even in the limited amount of words the kids know, reflected in the choice of words and expressions. It’s a nice, cozy party of frolicking children and smiling adults. What I really do admire though are grown-up people who are able to play with kids in a totally serious manner. I hope I'll be able to do that too.